Updated: Jan 18
This post comes courtesy of Melissa Robertson-Bye of MMC and originally appeared here. Reprinted with permission
Jesse and I have always had opposite schedules. When we first moved in together we would joke that the reason our relationship worked was that we never saw each other. Over the years we have figured out ways to make time for each other, but after having Lilly it was even harder. Especially when I went back to work and was running my business at the same time. I now am only self-employed but Jesse works 2 jobs. It is hard to fit everything in and make time for everyone!
Here are a few things that we do to make sure that we have time for each other every week.
1. Make 1 night a week about them / At home date night: I was in a therapy session one week and the topic of not seeing Jesse came up. It was really taking a toll on me that we were barely in the same room for more than 10 minutes. My therapist recommended that we started doing a date night once a week. As a parent you know date nights are expensive and the only night we had free was Monday which made it hard to get a babysitter. We set aside Monday nights for each other and don’t make plans with anyone else. The TV goes off and the phones get put away. We either talk, pack orders, order in a late dinner, or plan something. It gives us time just for us.
2. Take a day off together when kids are in daycare: Jesse has days off during the week. Lilly is at school (normally) during the day. I will sometimes take the same day off so we can sneak off for lunch together, binge watch something on Netflix or have a nap.
3. Morning phone calls: Jesse has always commuted to work. He used to leave earlier than me and drop Lilly off at child care. When I would leave for work I would call him during my 30 minute drive and we would catch up. This also helped with my anxiety as I knew he was safe. Now that Lilly is in school and I bring her, I will sometimes call him after I drop her off, especially on nights that he worked late. It gives me a few minutes to check in and give each other life updates.
4. Evening walks: If we have had a busy day and we know that one of us has to work that evening we will go on a family walk. Lilly will either run ahead, or ride her bike. This allows us to have a conversation without being interrupted.
5. Book a babysitter: Once in a while, Jesse will take a Friday night off from working at the bar and we will get a babysitter. It is nice to have a night out. Either we have a nice long dinner, or see a movie, or get a couple of drinks. It’s nice to get out at night sometimes.
What are ways that you make sure you have time for your partner?